I will always publish articles contributed by members of our Community and Visitors. Dale is well known to many of us and as I read through the article. I decided it held so many important ideas and seeds of thought it would be worth publishing verbatim. Dales essay is candid and free flowing.
A series of observations by Dale Bannister
Spirituality is it real or is it “make believe?”
I’ve been asking myself that for many, many years!
Please bare with me; I think the background is relevant to spark the debate of “True Opinion.”
Ever since I was 18 and developed an interest in the “darker side” or as most would call it the Occult.
Reading countless books on Demonology, the hierarchy of Demons and the Underworld. Though I obviously remember the big names, their supposed roles & duties. Getting a tattoo on my left arm of the Grim Reaper, a Pentagram at the bottom of my spine, with some “skeletal soldier” in the middle.
Dabbling in many Ouija boards, experiencing some pretty mind-bending stuff, even to the point of getting barred from a Spiritualist Church!
Before I got told I wasn’t welcome at the Spiritualist Church anymore, It was here (1992-3), I was first told I was a Healer, and I was on the wrong path. Naturally, I laughed at this “moron” I was 22/23 and had the Grim Reaper on my arm!
Then evidence, experiences, started lending “weight” to this accusation of me being a Healer. These were very hard to ignore, but ignore I did, and I turned my back on it ALL.
For the next 15/16 years, I didn’t acknowledge either “side” I bundled through life, pretending I guess (if I think about it) that nothing had gone before or existed and I had made the whole thing up, but I knew I wasn’t stupid!
Then I came across the lovely H.P and the work she did I found interesting, different, yet still didn’t “believe” I listened, tried to understand, but again couldn’t get myself to believe what I was hearing.
It was me who insisted that H.P’s work should be out in the public domain and I pushed her to do the shows, even though I didn’t believe, I believed in her!
After persuasion by her friend and me continually nagging, she entered the show arena, rest is history, where that is concerned
For a few years I was the “salesperson” for H.P, attending the shows, selling her “gift” in the form of wares or services, still NOT believing.
Then one day, I must have woke up, and I started questioning things, asking Heather more than I needed to know to sell her “wares” asking her about my past “Occult” days. This time I listened, absorbed, processed but did nothing with the information.
I believed in H.P, no doubt, but I still questioned HOW?!
Of course, she told me about her Guides, the Universe and how it worked, how Energy worked and I’m listening to all this thinking “Riiiiiight.”
The one thing I couldn’t ignore in all this, was one thing since I had met H.P my life had completely turned around!
Was it because I had believed in the “darker side” of things, so, therefore, attracted a miserable life? From what I have learnt and know now, some would say that’s exactly it!
Was it because I was just a lazy bum in my youth and did jack shit, so, therefore, had jack shit
Was it because H.P was more “connected” therefore the Laws of Attraction were at play?
That is the first question up for debate “How do you know what is true?”
The second question up for debate “How do you know what is real?”
In my head, they are entirely separate questions
As I sit here and write this, armed with Poppadum’s & Chutney, this is turning out longer than expected, yet seems to be flowing.
Who to Believe?
Now sat here, armed with a Brandy as I now become aware, that this, is, in fact, my personal story, rather than what I set out to do!
H.P for her reasons decides she needs to take a break from the shows.
We acquire what I believed to be my dream, our own Aquatics business in Dec 2012.
Naturally, everything else gets put on the back burner; we have a business to run!
(During this time, H.P and I had some opportunities to talk about “Spiritual” things but not often.
I DO remember one time, (when I think about it now), it must have been a life-changing moment for me, not recognised as one at that time.
That was when H.P, introduced me to Lucifer’s Wisdom, rewritten by Ian Timothy.
We spent 4 hours or more one night, going through this book, word by word, debating, arguing, over 6 Gin & Tonics (it was more, but can’t paint the wrong picture)
Everything in that book made PERFECT sense to me, in fact, I had the same attitude and considered myself, practising this for the last couple of years or more, without knowing!)
Nearly five years of building up a fantastic reputation in the Aquatics Industry, sadly that came to an end in May this year, when we decided to cease trading. Not what any of us wanted, but sometimes you must draw the line.
In May, I think I can speak for us both, we were gutted, for me, it wasn’t about the money invested & lost, but it was about the blood, sweat and tears (life hours) we would never get back!
Now I realise that decision we made, was in fact very courageous, showed unity and tremendous strength if you had told me that in May, I probably would of, well you can imagine.
No business, no job, no money, what the hell do I do now?!
Honestly, I had NO idea, last eight years of my life had been in the Aquatic Industry, but no one in that industry wanted an (in their eyes) failed businessman because sadly they all saw each other as competition, not as allies!
Without boring you even further, I had spent the last year to try and UNITE the industry to no avail, I was nothing more than a mouthy guy from Leeds, with some “way out there” notions.
My days were mine to do with as I pleased, which was an entirely new concept to myself and not one that I liked. Spent the first four weeks panicking about money, sorting out the business etc. (with H.P’s help)
Then one day, my mind cleared, still don’t know how, but do I need to?
Suddenly, I wasn’t worried anymore, I took each day in my stride, with an entirely different outlook than before. Everything was going to be ok!
H.P suggested to me, listen to people like Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, so I started immersing myself into these people, watching YouTube videos. Signing up with Hay House publishing and getting emails from them every day, watching free videos, etc.
Bought Eckhart Tolle’s books, Power of Now, Practicing the Power of Now, Stillness Speaks (haven’t read them yet)
Then I considered other people, such as Heidi Sawyer (bought her book, haven’t read it yet) Colette Baron Reid (bought her Wisdom of Oracle Cards) Sandra Anne Taylor (bought her Akashic Records book, halfway through that, Energy Oracle Cards)
Getting all this information, processing it, questioning it, filled my days up quickly, along with the new job of housework!!
All these people have different ways of selling themselves, different ways (in my head) of believing in the same thing, but how is this possible?
The obvious question to ask is: “Who do you believe?”
The next question must be: “Why that person and not any other?”
For many years now, I’ve considered myself as a critical, opinionated, mouthy male, always with something to say, but when I genuinely think about it, I still had a feeling of “right.”
Now was that my Ego, my arrogance, or was it a case of I was right!
Always joke, I’m never wrong I have just had different levels of right.
Since the age of 16, I’ve been very passionate about “my” music, most people hate it, some will tolerate it, that’s irrelevant to me. I’ve always said music is my best friend or it’s very important to me, which I might add H.P takes the piss out of!
My music isn’t the most ear-friendly to most, started off with Death Metal & Thrash Metal, still, listen to some these days but not as much. Then I moved onto Goth, Goth Rock, then into Synth Pop (Gary Numan etc.) and then EBM, Industrial, Industrial Techno.
I hear you saying, hells bells, enough already, what’s your point!
My point is and always will be, my music whether you like it or not, across all genres, has one major thing in common (to me) ENERGY!
I can hear H.P in the background, saying bollocks, it’s just shit.
The music can either lift me or bring me down depending on my mood; the same song can fill me with joy or make me cry, depending on my mindset,
Is that the song?
Is that my mood?
Is it a case of my mood processing the Energy differently?
Do I like that type of music, because my Energy field does, or am I thinking too hard about it?
The point I’m making is that if we are to believe “all this” we are Spiritual beings living a human experience, as Wayne Dyer would say. Others would say we are beings made up of Energy, so, therefore, makes sense that Energy would play a big part on the right frequencies?
Going back to the “Occult” days, some would argue that was negative energy; others would say it was the Spawn of Satan, some would even refuse to acknowledge it even existed.
Jumping forward to “now” over the last six weeks, I have immersed myself in as much as I can, to learn, be curious and to toy with an idea, of turning what I think I can do into a business.
The major flaw in this whole idea is me!
I once thought I questioned too much, but now I realise, it’s not me, others don’t ask enough. I have a huge case of self-doubt at the moment, because of me questioning everything, the consensus is, who is fooling who!
More people I talk to, more people are telling me, I can do this, people who didn’t speak to me before, are now speaking to me, WHY!
I don’t feel I’ve changed as a person considerably, but I guess a small amount of change is natural, as you learn and develop. Yet H.P and people close to me say I’ve changed quite considerably?
So, there is ONLY one factor in this, and that is my mindset,
Is it because I think more positive?
Is it because my Energy is different?
Is it because my Intentions are different?
I have absolutely NO idea, but I find myself going with it and probably for the first time in my life, I’m not worried about anything, which is a scary concept.
A few weeks ago, I came back on Facebook, with a different intention, before it was with the business and hated it, had to pander to customers. This time is purely for me and with a view of what I’m toying with.
Backtracking a moment, I’ve been around the shows for 6-7years, know quite a few by face, some by name. Usually, I’m a private kind of guy, god knows why I’m doing this, but “feel” need to.
In the past, I’ve chosen cautious who I have readings with and why. Stuck with the three people I trust and that I “feel” are genuine, names are irrelevant.
I’ve wondered round the shows, worked at the shows, seeing the same people, hearing the same moans. One thing I have never understood and still don’t to this day is, those stand holders who bitch, moan that the show was shit, they made no money, and the organiser is somehow reasonable for this??
The organiser’s job as I see it is to make sure:
Venue is decent
Reasonably priced for both stand holders & visitors
Advertise the show as much as possible on ALL formats
After that and the doors open, it’s down to no one else but YOU!
Oops, went off on one then, anyways as I was saying, kept myself to myself, but after doing the shows, for so long, I admitted to myself that I missed doing them, scary huh!
H.P was doing Newark, so I asked if I could come along, would give her hand, but wanted to “nosey” about and test certain waters. I’ve always been a people watcher, can’t help it, I don’t even know I’m doing it at times!
When I look at people, I get the feeling (only way I can describe it) that I’m looking at much more than what’s in front of me. Again, self-doubt kicks in, and I’m just making it all up.
Back to Newark, I had a conversation with Ian Timothy, that made sense and showed me that I could do this, that what I had in mind, wasn’t all bollocks. Spoke to H.P about things and she too said: “get on with it.”
Spoke to Di Wall, who I have the utmost respect for and she too pushed me in the right direction. So now I’m starting to think why can’t I do this?
The shock of the weekend, was when I turned round to H.P and said think it’s about time I had a reading with Simon Goodfellow. She looked at me and said that’s a really good idea, but why, you’ve never mentioned him before. To be honest, while I had heard a lot of good things about Simon, I never felt “drawn” to him, probably those ridiculous boots, oh wait that’s Dave.
Off I go and book in with him when it’s time I sit in front of him, and he’s a bit shocked to see me but carries on.
What he told me in the first 10 minutes of my reading was not only, mindboggling, it was like “how the fuck” does he know that!
Even said to him, apart from the obvious how the hell did you know all that, also told him why I never visited before, but more importantly NOONE, had hit the nail on the head as much as he had. It was genuinely gobsmacking but scary at the same time.
So now, I have NO option but to believe in something and maybe it was a time I started believing in me!
I once again I carry on reading about the Akashic records, developing a keen interest. Wednesday last week, as I do every morning with coffee, I’m looking through Facebook, when suggested friends come up. I knew none of these people and had no intention of sending or receiving requests from any of them until I saw one person. I was drawn to this person, no idea why, click on their profile, never seen them before, lived nowhere near me, but I got this feeling I should send them a friend request, which just is NOT me, yet I did.
Next morning, I get up, the same routine, opens up Facebook to see this friend request had been accepted, thinking now what? So, I messaged them very politely thanking for accepting the request. Thought nothing more of it.
A few minutes later, I get a reply, we chat, asking why they had accepted, asking why I had sent, both of us agreed, that we don’t normally do this, yet we have and trying to understand WHY!
Minutes turn into hours, and it becomes obvious, that this person needs help, has various issues (which I won’t discuss) and has had them for a time. After further discussion, I find out this person is spiritual and had just “cleansed” the house that morning, to allow “love” in. Further discussion, seems to lead to, that I was either sent to help or was asked for help.
After we had finished talking that day, I questioned everything that had happened, that had been said and still wouldn’t believe, that this was happening.
Jumping ahead a week later, we talk every day, we discuss, I help in the only way I know how, by speaking, in the way that I do. Small signs of progression are starting to take place, where a week ago, there was NO movement, now we have progress.
This person doesn’t know me, but naturally is starting to get to know me, as working closely with personal issues, it’s going to happen, yet this person has turned round to ME and said you are right, why aren’t you doing this as a business!
I’m like O M G, not another!
For the last week, I haven’t been able to read because of life, messages going to and throw, but what I had started doing, long before I had planned to do, are the cards.
If you remember I had bought the Energy Cards and the Wisdom of Oracle cards, every day with this person, I’m drawing cards for them, even though they do the cards themselves and do theirs daily. The results I’m getting is unbelievable, either that or its beginners luck (self-doubt again) joking aside, I have accepted that this is what I should be doing, I just need to learn how, I now believe that this person I’m talking to, was not only sent to me for help, but also to help me.
My faith in myself is slowly growing; the confidence is growing, my skill whatever that is, is developing.
So, who do I thank?
All the above?
My last words after all this rambling, we can never be sure who to thank, all we know is that, with the right skill set, the right mindset, belief, something beautiful could and will probably happen.
My dear friend H.P always tells me, treat everything as information, don’t believe it, don’t disbelieve it and open yourself up, the rest will follow, that is precisely what I am doing, and so far, it’s unbelievable!
When I look back upon my life, there is one defining moment, that is when H.P took a leap of faith on me and gave me an opportunity to sort my life out. That is and will always be in my book, the most selfless act anyone could have done, and that makes H.P very special.
Now I’m taking that leap of faith, hoping that I can give back to the Universe.