Good To Talk – Can you remember the television advert which used the catchphrase ‘It’s good to talk’? An advert which may have the best sentiment for humankind’s wellbeing ever conceived.

It is good to talk:

Allow me to offer the idea that in a sentence, every word counts, and an understanding of each word has a distinct effect on our way of thinking. Consider the first two words ‘It is’ these words suggest to do something will have a result. Talking is the verb or action, and good is the result of taking the action. So we can say talking is good. The reader will reply: ‘But some conversations are angry, or contain information which can be hurtful, or upsetting’ And the suggestion is right, up to a point.

However, no matter what the subject: it is good to talk about ideas and issues and reveal one’s thoughts and ideas in a calm and informed way. Helping people to understand a point of view guides them to ‘know’ who you are and how your world is reviewed.

At this time: most of us cannot work out the C19 situation. And therefore, the natural choice is to take on ideas which fit within one’s personality or character. And once we follow a chosen path of thought: the thought or idea is reinforced every time it is repeated within the reasoning mind, or during a conversation. To understand this concept means we can begin to think with a greater degree of understanding of a subject. If one can force the mind to approach and review ideas opposed to the fixed belief, real magic will happen. The inner-being will settle down because it loves to learn how to exist without discord.

If you wish to support a way of thinking or a belief extensive research is needed. And while the idea is researched, it is inevitable conflicting aspects of the subject and beliefs will be encountered. No one can escape this unavoidable aspect of research. An excellent reasoner will bring in both sides of every idea being reviewed and in time the ability to understand various aspects of a problem strengthens will, character and personality.

Most people do not research aspects of a belief, and this is why conversations fail and become arguments. The rare few who can calmly listen to all points of a subject and make a fair assessment become researchers. To research means ‘to review many times’. Being able to research many times and being able to listen to or discover aspects which are counter to a belief is a potent mind exercise.

My thoughts are one’s reasoning ability is bettered with deep thought and choosing to understand every aspect of an issue. In a similar way to the athlete who exercises his body. Her muscles are pushed and slightly torn and damaged: while the damage is being repaired, the muscles become more robust. In the same way, the mind’s reasoning skill and power become stronger by overexerting its capacity.

When one begins to think about this idea with care: the advantages become apparent. If one can enter into a conversation, and accept there may be aspects which are opposed to one’s understanding or knowledge of the subject, then the dialogue becomes more fruitful. Not only is there a possibility of learning something useful: as already written, one’s calm, will power, and reasoning ability is enhanced.

During the conversation, it is sensible to accept others will have opposing views. But remember, it is difficult to change another person’s ingrained opinion. Therefore, good conversations are gauged by the ability to cover as many aspects of the subject as possible without argument. Do not confuse offering different points of view as an argument. To argue is too forcefully pursue an opinion or belief without reference to a counterpoint.

Many of us can see a growing number of tribes forming from the present C19 situation. Some consider the complex infrastructure of society means sacrifice is part of the evolution. Another tribe believe life is sacred and must be saved at any cost. The third tribe has no opinion and wish everything would go away. A fourth tribe feels life is not static, and no matter the situation: the outcome should be accepted. The reader will easily add three or more tribes to the domain. Different points of view are the way of humankind and it is rare for every member of differing tribes to accept other groups points of view. Indeed, we know this is true because wars begin from differing tribal beliefs and opinions.

Therefore, an astute thinker may choose to avoid joining any tribe and decide to think about the ideas and beliefs of the many tribes an attitude which demonstrates the ability of open-minded and fair reasoning.

How is this article helpful?

The answer is within the way we can cope with difficult situations. When entering a problematic issue with a preconceived idea of what is desired from the problem solutions are rarely found: the objective fails. Paradoxically, if we begin to accept the possibility of failing to influence people to our way of thought life becomes more manageable. I’m not writing that we should anticipate failure in every endeavour. The idea is to enter a conversation with a well-researched opinion and talk about views and opinions with fairness and clarity. And the more often one can control thoughts and emotions during the interaction the better we can navigate life.

For example, you may leave a conversation feeling mentally bruised and angry. Later in the day, there is agitation and frustration that you did not make your point clear. Sometimes, you’ll ‘look back in anger’ and think ‘I could have replied in a better way’ or ‘Why didn’t I make myself clearer?’ If you accepted the right to other people’s beliefs there would be no frustration arising from the dialogue.

We are living in extraordinary and difficult times. None could doubt the future is uncertain. Indeed it is worthwhile learning or considering ways which help us to navigate daily life to our advantage. Talking is our primary way of communication; next is writing; a long way away is body-language and expression. Is it any wonder the great communicators are some of the most successful people?

It is even better to speak well, with clarity and patience. Talking and researching is the way we learn. Teachers, recite the same thoughts and ideas time and again: contemporary teachers demonstrate agreed syllabus. Good teachers teach people how to think: providing a jigsaw of information for the pupil to produce their picture of the issue. Learning is exciting when we consider the many dynamics of a chosen question or subject. Anyone who attempts to understand their world accepts there are rarely defined answers. It is learning about the different aspects and mosaic of life experience, which matters: not the final answer: for there is no final answer in an evolving world. To find solutions, there have to be questions: but the secret to right answers is not to have a predetermined response to the problem! 

It’s good to talk: And it is good to speak well:

Exercise the mind and learn to hear other people’s opinions. The better we can demonstrate we are listening to others viewpoints the more comfortable our inner-being becomes. There are certain rewards to being open-minded. You’ll discover people welcome or seek your opinion, and there are restrictions! As they’ll also burden you with problems, insecurities and false hopes. You’ll also become part of friends states of happiness and sadnesses. Of course, you’ll lose companions along the way, on the surface people like forthright words: although once directed to them they’ll leave your sphere. But, be clear in mind, talking with clarity and listening to the ideas of others will enhance life.

There are difficult times ahead. An adventurous mind will come through the storm knowing lessons have been learned. Balanced conversations will be very much part of new beginnings. Will there be a ‘new world’? In all probability, millions of people will never recover from the injustices, cruelties and feelings of hopelessness. These unfortunates will be locked in the memories: a terrible place to live.

If there is a way to navigate the future, it will be learning new paths of life and learning understand how to be fair and kind. Some of us will win and demonstrate great strength. Unfortunately, many millions of people are already broken. How can you help them: if indeed you wish to help? The answer is:

‘It’s Good To Talk’

Ian Timothy

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  1. A very good piece, Ian.

    Every word that we speak says so much about us. We, consciously, or subconsciously, choose every word. We choose for meaning, impact and effect.

    The problem is that the same word may have different meanings, impact, and effect to different people. What we think we have said, may not be what the other person, or people, have heard.

    I enjoy debate, and will always reassess my own views and opinions having heard what other people think, and, crucially, why. Maybe they will have knowledge which I do not?

    What can be challenging is that some opinions, Brexit being the archetypal example, have been forged over lifetimes. Trying to change the opinions of others, online, or in person, over ten minutes, ten hours, or ten days is extraordinarily difficult. Those opinions tend to define what people are, rather than what they think.

    I have always lived by the saying “Questions are the answer”. I find it instructive as to how people can deconstruct their own arguments when invited to talk.

    “So you believe the earth is flat? What makes you say that?”

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