Challenging times: An understatement:
Confusions? Yes! and an abundance of confusion:
Answers? Few.

John Richardson: LizianEvents

John Richardson

It is worth accepting there is no definitive answer to many of life’s issues. And it is with this knowledge we find a solution to confusion. The second we consider an ideal life is not clearly defined and the present situation, is, in reality, nothing more than a greater degree of confusion: life becomes more comfortable. There is no suggestion of underestimating the crisis; my thoughts are, our minds are already prepared for disorders. Because chaos is a part of life: indeed, confusion trains the mind, there is either inadequate training, which becomes terrible habits or excellent mind exercise, which becomes a better way of thinking. 

It is easy to say: ‘Do not focus on confusions’: but this statement has a problem: when we are told not to think about pink elephants: we have to begin to think about pink elephants. Do not focus – means we will – it is the paradox of the mind. So, don’t think about finding ways to be happy today.

A better way to consider difficult situations is to think: “Life is and can be confusing” and learn to accept this idea has merit.

We usually accept the situations we cannot resolve as ‘the way of life’, and indeed we do accept many quandaries. If not, we would not be able to live a good life, life’s journey would become slow, with constant reference to the past. Yes, there are injustices that can be almost impossible to resolve. But for the majority of life’s testing experiences, we can choose to accept them as confusion or without a solution. Let’s take this further. If many of us are capable of accepting disorder is part of the life journey, why not consider the mind is already prepared for most unresolvable issues? Why not think ‘I know there will be no satisfactory outcome, and I take this as an excellent approach to living a fruitful life’.

There is no suggestion of bowing down to pressure every time a problem is presented. If we fall to stress every time a hurdle comes along, self-confidence is soon lost: and challenging to reestablish. The guidance is to consider the benefits of sometimes knowing outcomes do not always follow common-sense or right thinking. And accepting the idea as an unfortunate and necessary fact can become a sound way of being emotionally successful and happy. Because, once we can move away from the situations we cannot influence, we become centred on the issues within our control: which is a potent way to a confident and progressive life.

I doubt whether any of us will encounter a virus situation as damaging as this one again. But we should consider there will be personal confusions and frustrations evolving from the outcomes of choices made by people in power. Not everyone will agree with the decisions made. And if we do not prepare for opposing ideas, wishes and desires not to be listened to, then there is the possibility for inner conflict ahead in time.

Accepting our ideas and pleas that are not acknowledged can become seeds of frustration. And we should begin early to realise this fact: we may have our thoughts or opinions considered, and although the ideas make sense, they will be ignored: or worse ridiculed. Also, valid and common sense ideas will fall on deaf ears! Accepting this a way of life becomes a way of finding inner peace and long-term happiness.

We do not have to investigate everything presented to us! It is acceptable to consider not every issue, no matter how great its significance, is worth thinking about. Indeed, this is another powerful mindset and one which is offered to clients who are having difficulty negotiating a situation. If I ask ‘How: exactly: would finding the answer benefit your life?’ The client has an alternative way of considering the issue. When I ask ‘How: exactly: would finding the answer benefit your life?’ Most often, the individual looks at me in bewilderment. If I continue, and comment ‘And if you discover an answer, will it change the situation?’ The reply is what you are thinking now: ‘Well, knowing answers does not always solve life situations’. The reason is: life situations usually involve one or more people, and we have to get all involved to agree to the solution: and of course, this is not always possible. (No apologies for the complexity of the sentence).

So you see: we already know not all situations can be resolved to our liking. And this is a powerful psychological coping method. And one we may not be aware that we use regularly. I’m hoping you sometimes shrug your shoulders and say: ‘That’s the way it is’ or ‘There is nothing I can do about it’ or ‘I’ll move on from this’. And if you do, you are far from taking the easy way out. You are building resilience and the ability to navigate life’s unforeseen issues: which is a great mindset.

Now, while the probability is, we may never encounter another pandemic, there will be many who will refer back to the situation for many years to come. A reader may correctly comment ‘Yes, John, but we are a long way away from the end of the crisis’ and I agree. However, my feeling is we should prepare ourselves for the future today. Understand the inner conflicts which may arise, and consider ways to deal with the possible adverse emotional outcomes.

There is little point in looking back at the issues out of our control and allowing them to become a source of great inner conflict. And if you prepare for the future and seek better methods to deal with the frustrations arising from the crisis, you’ll fare better than those who hit the wall running. Anyone who chooses to accept there are no sure solutions to the years ahead and therefore chooses to focus closely on their controllable assets will have a better chance of moving on to a bright and prosperous future.

It is my feeling early preparation and understanding how you will navigate the future: and working through the strategy early, will make life far more comfortable in the future. Look around the issues today: begin to focus on personal wellbeing and health. And strengthen one’s resolve to accept there will be injustices and situations which seem (or are) unfair. Everything changes and evolves, and if one considers the idea we have a multitude of potent inner resources available, and we do not have to be conscious of them working to our benefit, problems are soon left behind. 

Prepare yourself today: be confident you can flourish and allow the unconscious mind to work to the conscious mind’s best advantage.

John Richardson

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