Challenges throughout life bring the experiences of joy and sadness in many forms. When things do not go to plan, there is generally a few people you would like freedom from to balance your peace of mind and happiness, which forgives brings. 

It may seem unusual to think of Forgiveness as Power and view it as a tool for self-employment, and it is one thing to forgive but another to be able to do it and mean it.

woman in gray blazer sitting on red sofa

To Forgive is A Powerful Act

When you forgive you win, but it is not the winning which requires someone else to lose. It is also worth remembering that what others do is up to them. It does not let them off the hook; they are still responsible for having caused pain or harm and will have to come to term with that themselves. When you forgive, you stop being a victim of circumstances and free yourself from the adverse effects of whatever happened.

When you feel stuck in a relationship and begin the process of forgiveness, you will find it much freer to either make it work or walk away. They no longer bind you. When you have had an opportunity to see the bigger picture, and you likely wonder why on earth you got so caught up with them in the first place. 

Learning to forgive reduces harmful effects on your body, your breathing, heartbeat, and you will notice release in your gut. Holding onto negativity can leave you depleted with a lack of energy, so it is worth adding this tool to your toolbox for your well-being. If you hold on to the feeling of wanting to punish, you will end up punishing yourself with all the bad feelings of that experience.

Why not grab a paper and pen and try the exercise below which comprises of four steps? Repeating these steps over seven or twenty-one days will increase your intention and have the power to keep you focused on releasing you from the situation in favour of self-empowerment.

1) Who and What – Think about the person you need to forgive, why you feel you need to forgive them and write the details down in a sentence? 

I want to forgive ………………………for……………………………. 

2) Possible Release Blocks – write a sentence about ant feeling which may get in the way such as anger, pain, fear, envy etc. 

I now chose to release my feelings of …………………………….. 

3) Benefits – write a few sentences about the benefits you expect to have once you have forgiven how it would change your attitude and behaviour. 

I embrace this exercise in the knowledge that forgiving this situation will benefit me as I will feel …………………………. 

4) Commitment – Create a sentence to confirm and support your intention to forgive. 

I commit myself to forgive…………. and I accept the peace and freedom which forgiveness brings. 

When you repeat the exercise daily and say your sentences aloud at least three times, or quietly in your mind, you will begin to see a change in how you feel. Each day will bring awareness of how important this exercise is in bringing balance and harmony back into your lives. Forgives is the art of staying in control of your own life, letting go of negativity whilst firmly setting new boundaries to keep you safe.

Jane Osbourne

Jane’s Website

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