New Year, New Me? – Those people who know me well know that I spend a lot of time on Facebook, I read, observe and absorb lots of different peoples statuses, I will offer opinion or comment if asked for, but a lot of what I read will pass without comment or further thought. This week, in particular, has drawn me to the keyboard to put down some of my thoughts. As we close out one year and head into a new one people will use this time to assess current progress and reminisce and feel the need to explain where they have got to and sometimes sadly those things and people that have been lost along the way. It appears to me to be kind of a mental stocktake all to be recorded in the memories section. My question is why, is there need to register everything? Is there anything within memories that can provide the stimulus or the inclination to change?
A lot of people will use December 31st as a closure point and January 1st as an opener, the line “new year new me” can often be heard being recited by the optimistic amongst us. We start with much energy and dedicate ourselves to making things work, January will see massive uptake of new ventures, car parks at gyms are full, diet clubs oversubscribed. Further education, courses are also often sought to prove to oneself the evolution of self. All very positive and then around the third week of January it starts to feel more like the year before. Why? Because reality has set in and resilience and patience have been tested. The passion for the new is now being questioned, and progress so desired a short time ago has slowed. Why you might ask yourself, well here is my observation and hopefully where we can notice specific recurring patterns. I often hear during consultations: that people believe that they are at a crossroads in their lives. This idea suggests to me: people desire to go down a different path but are afraid to make a decision. So they justify not choosing by using an old strategy that will only take them to the same destination. By commenting: “I am stuck”. Indecision can only be dealt with in my humble opinion by direct action.
To help solve a problem. I believe you have to look at its origins. So dear reader, I am about to take you on a short journey into an imaginary scenario. You are in a place of your choosing. And the time is 11.59 December 31st and 00:00 hours January 1st. Take a look around absorb your surroundings. At this point, I ask a question: Who is going to be going with you from one point to the next? Who will have the main consistency in your life? The answer is you! And you are the difference-maker. While we are at that moment, we need to look at the mindset of the individual before the next move is made.
The key to starting any new journey is preparation: Ask specific questions: Have I all the things I need before I begin? Am I adequately prepared, for this scenario? If it is “new year new me” what is new me going to look like? How am I going to operate? And later how will I know if the changes desired are working? And indeed how will I recognise if there is anything different happening the new life to the one that I am currently living? These are compelling questions!
As human beings living a human existence, and there is a tendency to self-sabotage. What can be useful for us can also be not so good if mishandled. Even a small problem or obstacle that can impede progress. We set an intention, a goal, a new direction, all positive. However: the reality is, to achieve, we must have a method of operation or steps put in place to make intention a reality. Think of an instruction manual numbered from beginning to end. And if followed, should achieve the desired result.
A way to overcome a hurdle is presented this way: imagine I give you a mobile phone with the general operating instructions. You are familiar with it and press the right buttons, and it works normally. Now imagine I give you a brand new phone and ask you to operate the phone with old instructions. The chances of the new phone will work correctly are between slim and none. Using old instructions will get you to the same place every time, new guidelines or commands need time to be absorbed, tested and see where we end up once we use them, updated operating instructions applied to a new phone, new phone works.
The thing is! We tend to operate within our comfort zone: Often completing a mundane task on autopilot, it doesn’t fulfil, but the job is completed. If we wish to make positive and long-lived changes to our lives, the need is to remember at some level there is something about old habits which influence new changes and choices. When we feel uncomfortable, or we are not content, and change is required, it is often old thought patterns which restrict the changes necessary.
So how do I deal with something that I am currently doing that isn’t working for me or how I initially visualised it? Firstly I look at my method of operation? Neuro-linguistic programming has taught me that if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always had! In other words, put the same steps in place consistently, and the result will be the same.
Essentially we are giant computers storing and processing vast chunks of information and data, we are capable of so many things, and sometimes we will download programmes or information with bugs in. To make changes core programme must be reprogrammed to achieve different results to the ones we are currently getting. The need for change requires me to notice that where I end up is entirely down to the instructions and the guidance that I give myself.
Working in line with or alongside clearly defined ideas now takes on paramount importance. My thoughts hopes and inspirations must be congruent with my method of operation if they are to succeed, if they aren’t, I will always return to default settings with old me for company.
Now: back to where we started. What is the secret of sustained change? Preparation! I need to be prepared to leave behind any thoughts, ideas or habits which do not serve the old me. The new me is waiting to advance but lacks awareness or instruction because it hasn’t experienced the new. So I need to issue further instructions, guide the new me on to the new path. It is crucial to realise there might be days where I am learning as I go, keeping what works and discarding what doesn’t. Now the new destination comes into focus; my way of operating is leading me to this new version of me; my thoughts and actions are congruent. The new programme has now been written and stored, and I will soon end up where I have set out to get to.
My message is this dear friend is assess where you are at: always: and don’t sweat the small stuff, celebrate the victories no matter how seemingly small the steps. Recognise the new you, move forward, have the realisation that new you won’t appear until you let go of old you and leave the early programming behind.
Time is, after all, a human-made concept, so don’t wait until a year-end or a new year to make changes know that you can do it at any time.
Now 3,2,1, happy new year, who’s going forward and who’s being left behind. New you awaits.
Bright blessings and as with all my work, my thoughts.
Best wishes, Rick Paul.
Spiritual Counsellor, Medium and Psychic.