Stress? – Could stress guide us in making better choices?
We hear the comment: ‘Make your Christmas: A stress-free Christmas’
Let’s face it: for many people, stress-free Christmas not an option. Christmas will be stressful, and long after the last cracker didn’t go bang, we’ll be back to the daily routine. I’d suggest Christmas as we know it today will be a memory within a century. Just look at the posts on social media. More people are sharing the ‘Forget the gifts’ and ‘I’m keeping Christmas simple this year’ posts. Many people are losing enthusiasm for the ‘festive season’. The feeling is there is a growing preference for the sharing of friendship, rather than presents. It is probable we will prefer to dissolve the idea of gifts for the sake of gifts. Presents for kids yes! Grown-up people would sooner enjoy friendship.
Only last week a friend told me about someone who had worked all week. On the journey home, she purchased a surprise takeaway meal for the family. At home, she asked her daughter to set up the table and was shattered when the reply was: ‘It’s not my job to set up the table’.
Sadly this anecdote is not uncommon. And people who are kind and generous are often subject the same indifference and lack of respect. We know people who come under this type of ‘attack’ (it is an ‘attack’ on one’s self-confidence and happiness) become scarred by the experience. As time passes, the selfish individual could look back and regret their acts, at a time when it is too late to rectify the situation. People do look back at their actions as a parent enters the last stages of life…
Stress is an inevitable aspect of modern life. And those who say ‘avoid stress at all costs’ have little conception of the daily routines of people who work hard every day. They budget their earning and live within their means. Holidays are saved for, and presents are given with genuine love. Inevitably there is worry about long-term security for themselves and their family. And to some degree, the worry is greater than the reality.
Millions of people are concerned about security and the future of their children. These concerns are a natural state of mind and should be accepted as normal. A wise human will think of stress as a mind building exercise. And once one considers stress in this way, it becomes controllable.
I have never worried about longterm security. I see life as beautiful and live in a way which is well within my means. The means are four-cornered: material, intellectual, emotional and creative. Anyone who continually lets me down or seeks the negative aspects of situations is not welcome in my future. I am not prepared to compromise my happiness for the selfish and greedy. The fantastic thing is many positive and future-minded people surround me.
I asked my friend: ‘What did the mother do?’
‘She said nothing: she set a place in her dining room and ate alone!’
I wonder at the power of her actions: Did she ask?
‘Is it my fault my daughter is inconsiderate?’ or did she think:- ‘My child I love you for all of your faults, your life will change, and one day you’ll have to support yourself. So, I will demonstrate what happens when we do not contribute. We mustn’t allow simple situations to escalate into major issues. I’ll lower my stress by merely setting up the table, and eating alone, within peace and calm’ -?
Consider her simple solution as a powerful way of dealing with many situations:
Do not respond
Think about the love for one’s life
Demonstrate the right way
With simple acceptance: set up the table and eat alone!
The child sees the mother eating alone: does she wonder:- ‘Where is my food?’ Or can she interpret her mother’s actions? Can she acknowledge her mother’s message? Which is: ‘Consider the feelings of people who love you. If love is to grow, There should be an exchange of care, respect and sacrifice’ -?
The mother did not argue, or demand. In the actions, she demonstrated love for her daughter. She stayed calm, did not argue, lead by example. Her way of dealing with a stressful situation and life’s injustices is a powerful mindset. One of Silence: Love: Acceptance: Truth.
During work situations, we come across excessive demands. Instead of allowing a workplace to flow in its natural and evolving way a manager looks for ways to improve the profitability of the business. He takes on more customers and contracts which are too much for the infrastructure of the company. The staff suffer; he blames them for his mistakes.
To deal with a poor workplace environment the mindset is similar:
Do not moan or enter negative conversations – Do not respond
Love everything you do, no matter how hard or seemly pointless
Accept the situation
See only the truth
The truth? Yes, the manager will, in time become powerless. He’ll lose the respect of employees, and little by little, the business could lose its reputation. He’ll take his stress and anger home; he’ll damage personal happiness for the sake of the company. Watch him: with peace, acceptance and self-respect.
Consider this next thought with care. Reason with the idea that stress is exercising the mind to the truth. You see: it is only when we know the truth and accept it without question, will we de-stress and not be within distress.
Accepting the truth for what it is? What does this mean? Inevitably, during life, there will be situations and outcomes which we will dislike. Many of them will be beyond the ability to change our way, or belief, or ideas. When one does not accept unfairness, injustice, and distortions, life becomes difficult and stressful. By accepting life is not easy: accepting life will not always go our way: Then we find greater peace of mind and happiness. To deal with stress: Do not respond: Love life: Accept and See the Truth.
See You Soon
Great advice. If my daughter ever did that to me…….. my advice would be out of the window lol. Have a great Christmas everyone. x
Thank You, Jane for your words: Happy Christmas to you, your family and of course Gary xx