Today we have a very person and poignant article written buy Kaz Kelsall. It is a gauge of a person’s character when they reveal a personal experience without censorship. This makes Kaz’s memory one of great significance to many people. Many thanks, Kaz.
Forgiveness
I have found that forgiveness is a hard but personal thing. It can be given on so many levels. The lady who accidentally shoves her shopping trolley into your legs, overhearing your co-worker talking about you or a disagreement with a friend are often experienced examples: The one I found the hardest is to forgive when either your partner or a member of your family cause discord.
My story starts with my brother, who was four years younger than me. During my childhood, we were very close, “thick as thieves”, as they say. I looked after him, protected him from the street bullies. He knew I would go out to see them as he had told them I was coming, and of course, they were waiting for me to tell them off. It was a regular thing, and they would smirk and say, “she’s coming,” and laughed. They knew I would only warn them off and tell them to stop bullying him. They did eventually stop after I said I would pay a visit to their parent’s house. On one occasion, I went to see a teacher who called him a cretin and told her that remark had upset my mother. I had told her in front of a room full of staff and then left to get to my school as I was running late. Things were not best at home either as punishment was rife, to the point of standing in front of my brother to protect him from our usual belting.
As we got older, we were close, but we had our own lives and had our own families. He started to change and did some things that hurt many people, including my family and myself, but I forgave him repeatedly. Then after one incident, too many, we grew apart due to an act of treachery on his part which split our family and relatives in two. Due to this, I lost contact with two family members who I loved dearly, who believed his fabricated story. On their deathbed, I had the chance to see them, and they were sorry for believing him and for the loss of all the years we were apart.
In 2014, my sister told me that my brother was ill and although I was distant from him I could not forgive him. I tried to contact him but the message I got from his wife was that he was not interested in reconciling or talking to me. When he was in the hospice, I rang for him and told the staff that he did not want to speak to any family members. Not long after this, I was told that he had written a very hateful post on a social media site that was open for everyone to see, regarding the family etc. I still tried to see him, and some would think why should she forgive him again. A year later, my sister rang me to say that he had died. I still feel my little brother; I remember him as the little boy who needed protecting and was fun to be with as a child.
I have been a psychic since I was a child and a medium for some years now. He will not come to me directly with a message, but he once appeared briefly in my home not long after he died. He also came through to another medium at a demonstration about six months after he died. Through the medium, he said that he was sorry for what he had done and was too stubborn to tell me when he was living. He also said that he felt he could not come to me as he feared that I would not forgive him nor acknowledge him. I was still angry with him at that time, but I found the courage to say I forgave him in a room full of people. L feel his presence from time to time, but he does not talk to me as I think it is a work in progress.
My thoughts for this spiritual path are simple. If you can forgive someone depending on their actions, then it is better to do it in person while on the earth than when they have passed over to spirit. I feel this will help ease the pain of the hurt and anger and feel the weight leave you once this has been done rather than carrying it around with you when you cannot physically hold them and have regrets.
Life is short for some, and we do not know what is around the corner, even for people who have some insight into the future. See the act for what it is and how important it is to you. Sometimes people say things because of their jealousy, anger or their insecurities. A lot of this is in the heat of the moment. It is best to try and talk through the situation before getting bigger and getting to the point of no return like myself. With that said, sometimes if you are fearful of this person etc., and feel it is something that is not forgivable and has tried to talk without a solution, then hold the knowledge that you had tried and move on with your life and walk your spiritual path.
I have moved on where my family haven’t, and I have left the what ifs behind but I think it was a shame not to have that last conversation to say goodbye.
Kaz Kelsall
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